Sunday Herald Sun, October 4 2020
I bought this for the St Kilda news, a habit I got from a friend. After a good win, buy the Herald Sun. It was a good win on Saturday, and on Sunday I went to the supermarket and bought some milk and some Herald Sun.
On the front page are Dan Butler's streaming mane and the stars of this issue: Schapelle Corby, Donald Trump and Nicole Kidman.
There are 96 pages plus inserts; 16 pages of AFL, 8 more of sport and 3 of racing plus a liftout 8-page form guide. The digital scales weigh it at 575 grams.
Race 4 at Kyneton: Poet Warrior, sired by Wordsmith, up against Prosecutor, Cyclone Sally, Raphael, Call me Cain, Pinot Party, Seabaz and Pommy Bird.*
Two Harcourt boys on page 5 stand in a field of green rye. Never has their dad seen so many blossoms on their apple trees. (The apples here are blooming too.)
The bulk of the paper's advertising is for Coles - a front page banner, a double spread on page 2 and 3, sponsored "Health" content, recipes and quizzes, a full back pager. 'Value the Australian way' goes their line.
A full page paid by the racing industry to say they're 'Here for the Horses' (and not because of).
There's one page of classifieds, which is 50% ads for News Corp's online classifieds. There are 11 "paid" print ads, of which two are in the traditional format of yore: three lines and a telephone number (both for share accomodation in Frankston). Happy 100th birthday Jean Hinton.
Peta Credlin precedes the editorial with textual analysis of Dan Andrews testimony: 'The "personally" could well be important; it could read as though he has an idea of where the decision came from but that personally he wasn't there at the time it was made.' Who, she wants us to know, reassured the police chief?**
An excerpt from Jimmy Barnes' memoir about stripping for charity. Even Jimmy Barnes feels icky about Jimmy Barnes naked. Nicole Kidman was there.
A page of pets and weather and a page of posing animals - hippo, baboon, giraffe, red panda from Melbourne Zoo snapped by Melbourne zookeepers. Trad pictorial fare.
Letters to the editor from Jim, Bob, Conrad, Debbie, James, Rudi, Ricko, Tony, Bob, Jim, Greg, John, Wendy, Tony, Jennie, Robyn, Julia, Niall, Nige, Mick, Stan and Bob.
M Murphy from Sale hasn't seen her formerly FIFO-ing husband for a long time, Rudi Michelson grew up in Oakleigh.
Schapelle Corby grows and sells resin clocks and still sees shadows behind trees.
Matt Preston does sausage rolls and gets in 'pizzazz', 'Dadaist' and 'sticky, fatty deliciousness.'
A full pager for some buy now pay later service, then a photo of 'Rebecca Strickland at home with some of the purchases she bought using Afterpay'.
Investor tips: buy Coles Group, sell Bank of Queensland.
There's poems in the puzzles - a verse 'attributed to Ali Ibn Abu Talib' and a rhyming riddle. Puzzles are at the end of the TV Guide named 'Binge' and get harder the further you go. Turn the paper upside down to read the riddle's answer: plead.
As in Nicole Kidman pleads with Hugh Grant to return to acting.
The Bradford Exchange convincingly promotes a $99.98 Faberge-inspired egg featuring a family of wrens. Open the egg to reveal a blue wren while a hidden chime plays The Wind Beneath my Wings.
Ethan Hawke says he was born to act.
According to Stratco's insert, December 5 is National Patio Day. Dennis Cometti is National Patio Day Ambassador.
On the cover of the Body + Soul insert, celebrity metereologist Magdalena Roze sits, bare legs wide open, a wicker basket of pink lady apples the focus of her crotch hidden by strategic skirt. Roze holds an apple in her left hand, knife in right, and cuts a slice towards herself. Previously sliced slices lie browning in her skirt. Beneath beige painted toes a creamy shagpile rug; behind her white off-the-shoulder puffy shirt, beigey brown distressed cotton cushions backed up against a stack of split redgum
'[D]uring lockdown,' Angela Mollard writes, '[Magdalena's] images of homemade focaccia gardens prompted many to go on a breadmaking binge'.
In the travel insert 'Escape', Craig Silvey writes about the summer forests of Denmark. He too was so annoying that he was left by the side of the road by his parents. He too saw his vagrant life ahead of him, before his parents drove back to rescue him so that he could then write Jasper Jones.
On the back cover of 'Escape', a full page reminding us that The Walking Dead returns Monday on Binge.
One of these is made every week.
* Postscript 1: Cyclone Sally got the win (form guide: 'place hope'); Poet Warrior ('strong claims') was a scratching.
**Postscript 2: It was Eccles!
